I know what you are thinking. It has to be something like "Who is Elijah torp? Is he some kind of varient on Jacopo? Why is his blog listed on one of Jacopo's articles? Why is there so little content on his blog?"

I understand all of your questions, so here are the answers:

Elijah torp is a man that some, mostly himself, feel might be the finest human being ever built.

I am not Jacopo and am not likely to be. I do, of course, envy his article count, because shit he has a ton of articles.

I and a few other people cowrote that article. Besides me, C.K. Bond and Benjamin FA also worked on the article. And, of course, Jacopo.

there isn't a lot of content on the blog because I forget, sometimes, to blog. By sometimes I mean all the time. Even when I have good things to blog about, like yesterday when my son shot me in my bare, open eyeball with a nerf disk and nearly killed me. If you wish to come back, I'm going to do a new blog post every day for three days running after this to sortof make it up to you.

I love you, Cracked readers. Have a good sunday.